I like him but does he like me back?

I’ll be honest, I have Googled – ‘How to tell if he likes you’.

If you’re honest, you’ll probably admit to doing this too.

You can sit there, shake your head and pretend you haven’t – I KNOW YOU HAVE.

Crushing on someone who has no clue you like them, usually leads to this kind of behaviour.

This rush of teenage girly excitement has you living the optimistic life of those that see the glass half full. Regardless of the fact that you initiate all texts,emails and catch-ups, you’re hopeful that some Blog out there is going to tell you that he hasn’t made a move because he’s scared of commitment, or in need of ‘time’; that he definitely likes you, in fact he really likes you, and don’t feel bad for scribbling his name across your post-it note pad whilst you were on a work call this morning, he’s probably doing the same thing, he’s just too shy to tell you.

Like most women, I know how to pick them – it’s a curse – He’s still in love with his ex, has just started a new job and hasn’t time to commit, or has major anger management issues and punched a wall on the first date (which obviously expels him from any further dates). Yep. Sometimes it feels like you’re on Candid Camera …. Finally, when you do find a guy you really like, that has you grinning from ear to ear – he doesn’t like you back. You are not alone! This crazy business is standard. We are all in the same boat and regardless of how fabulous, intelligent or attractive you are – you have filled these shoes at some point in your life or are wearing these smelly hand-me-downs right this minute.

Being single is like living in a Soapie. Your drama filled dates become the focus of all girly pow wows and hey, regardless of how awful the dates you have are – the laughter filled debrief’s are worth it.  But when you like someone who you’re yet to go on an actual date with, you spend a great deal of time obsessing over where you and he are at. You  and your friends dissect all his texts, have a slideshow viewing of his pics from Facebook and regurgitate every conversation you’ve had with him, all  in attempt to fossick for signs. Signs that he may like you too but c’mon ladies! What in the name of Riggins are we doing?!

We are wasting a hell of a lot of time and energy! That’s what! I did some Googling (again) and I read a wide array of Blogs and articles from how to know if a guy likes you (make sure you read this to the end, because this guy let’s you in on how his girlfriend kept him and it had nothing to do with her amazing conversation)  to why you’re not married and apart from feeling entirely discouraged about the future of my dating life, I was lead to one conclusion – If he likes you, you’ll know.

If he likes you, you won’t have to chat about it with friends and look for an ‘x’ at the end of a text. You will know! He’ll step up to the plate, he’ll ask you out and you’ll do more than the first awkward dinner and go figure – he’ll generally want to see you as much as you want to see him!

All that energy you just expelled, would have been better put into the relationships you already have, the ones that actually exist with your friends and family. I’m not saying you can’t spend a little time imagining what it’d be like to go out with him – just don’t let it take over your life.

I know it’s hard to switch that part of your brain off that is constantly thinking about your crush, but you have to. Focus on other things! Hang out with your friends. Work on your own projects. Live your life! I have been boy crazy for as long as I can remember, so I am that girl who needs to hear this the most! But think about it – if you can just find a way to redirect that radar to add to your life, instead of detract from it – you will be much happier
and happy people are attractive people! Win/win!

You are not doomed! You will find it when you least expect it. That old saying has stood the test of time for a reason. Take the pressure off,  worry about the bigger picture, and watch everything fall into place. When you’re busy doing what you love doing – you’ll meet him; or that guy you were obsessing about, might come back! A lot can change in 6 months to a year and sometimes people just aren’t ready! The more you push – the further you push them away.

You know that guy you went on a date with last year that was too keen? Do you remember how off-putting that was? That is you. Right now. Stop it.

Or, if you really, really want to know if he likes you – just ask! Cut to the chase, cut out the drama and get the tears out-of-the-way.

I like him but does he like me back?

You know the answer to that.


  1. But I honestly have never googled that. Unfair! So proud of how much you’ve grown though. I thought the Kristy I met a year and a half ago was pretty cool, but now she’s incredible.

    I would like to add one thing to the discussion though – some people are just pretty terrible at communication. I met a guy and I *know* how much he likes me, and I *know* that he has thoughts alluding to a future, but I’ve been overseas for what? six weeks and has he written me a single email that is more than four sentences ending with a vague promise to write a proper email at a some mythical point in the future? No. But when we skype, I *know*.

    For your consideration…

    1. Paz, with friends like you, a girl sure does feel special – thank you.
      As for Mr retardo communicado, well, at least he has written to you. Putting off writing something longer till later, maybe gives you a sign that he doesn’t really know how to express himself via email. Obviously Skype is a better medium. At the end of the day – you *know* he likes you. You don’t need to Google it. If a guy hasn’t come out and told you – you will still have a gut feeling about where you stand….

  2. as a guy, I’ll keep from saying too much…

    …but that link with the lad talking about what it takes to keep a gal has some truths but it’s also a thinly concealed add for his bud’s product.

      1. My two cents? It doesn’t.

        And the writer knows it. The whole thing is written with an agenda in mind.

        I just feel sorry for all the gals buying the product and polishing their…skills…it’ll keep him around a week longer. Two, tops.

  3. Thank you soo much for writing this article! You covered everything.. didn’t miss a beat. One thing you mentioned that struck me especially was the part where you talk about “investing in the relationships that actually exist”. I feel liberated now…so much more at ease. Thank you for taking the time to think this through and share your perspective;)

  4. This is the best advice to give to a lovesick girl, and should be a top result in google to catch someone addicted’s attention 😉 but I have a question:
    * note how you said if you really wanna know just ask him…well what if you don’t have the courage because you have never spoken to him before? Any tips?

    I really want to know a definite answer and get over and done with this crush addiction thing but am too shy!!!

    Love sucks 😦

    1. Hey Zoe! If you’ve never spoken to him before, it’s probably best you don’t ask him if he likes you. I mean, he doesn’t know you! You need to pluck up the courage to say hi. Is there a way you can ask for his help/opinion on something? You need to find an opportunity to get to know him and then after some time, you can ask him if he likes you, but then again, maybe once you get to know him you might not like him anymore?! Good luck and let me know how you go! X

  5. I really liked whta you were saying YOU TOTALY DESCIBED ME! See I am basicly the new girl at this school. so you know I thought my last crush would always be my crush! So when my freinds told me he may like me I fliped. It was like a big slap in the face and it hurt because I relazied that I liked him! But I am also known as the shy knew girl so I cant talk to him I mean were freinds but I am to shy! Why do girls have to always have drama:(

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