It’s Summer! Old friends return home, new friends are on the rise and romance! Well, what would Summer be without a fling?!
Amidst all the socializing, drinking, dancing and goodness knows what else (you kids these days…) it is important to remember that emotions can be a little heightened…To say the least.
We have all just survived Christmas with our families and are about to welcome a new year where we vow not to date another loser, befriend one more bunny boiler or max out our many credit cards. Expectations are high and for crying out loud we’ve had a pretty cold year and that Bikini body you were hoping to pull out at North Bondi didn’t quite happen.
You’re feeling the pressure to be super human and turn your whole life around after midnight NYE and that mixed in with the heat and alcohol can make people somewhat irrational and a tad bit sensitive.
What am I talking about? Here’s an example –
You walk into an NYE party and you bump into one of your oldest friends ‘Rob’. Rob introduces you to his new girlfriend and for some unknown reason, she is the ultimate ice queen. Instantly you have been frozen out – just like that. Was it something you said, or didn’t say? Did he tell her you guys had a drunken pash at Justin’s house a few years back? Or maybe he accidentally called her your name this morning in the car? Whatever it is don’t stress, it doesn’t matter, for this is the perfect moment to tell yourself. It’s not me, it’s you, you crazy, crazy person.
Don’t let someone else’s ‘issue’ ruin your night. Insecurity is like a virus. One person has it, then they pass it on by form of an inappropriate comment or rude behaviour and voilà you’re the host body, spending the night obsessing over why someone didn’t like you.
Insecurity is ugly and from time to time we fail to recognise it rearing its horrible head, making you obsess over the most pathetic snide comment or turning you into a jealous moron.
“I hate her!” um…why? What did she do? Was she rude to you? Did she tell you she hated your dress? What was it? “It’s just something about her”.
Now, let’s be honest girls. You’ve said those words when you’ve really wanted to say – Joseph said he had a crush on her before we met, or, she and Matty text each other too much or, she’s got a better body than me.
This is the exact moment you need to remind yourself that how you feel about this person, is purely about you, not them. They haven’t done anything to you, except for existing and the only way for you to get over your dislike for them, is to get over your dislike for yourself! That’s right! Give me a talk show and call me Dr Phil because the buck stops with you! When you feel this kind of behaviour bubbling to the surface it is your responsibility to remember you’re the problem – not them.
Women aren’t the only culprits in these situations. Men do it too. Let me introduce you to a little something called ego. Needing to be the King of the jungle tends to make men hate other men who are pretty much carbon copies of themselves. Of course men dislike men that they think are douchebags too but from my experiences, men generally are better at disguising it, choosing to use their dislike for someone as motivation to be better than them.
The need to feel valid and special makes us all feel and be stupid at times. No one is perfect. Sticks and stones can hurt and their marks can last for months, sometimes years, that’s why it’s important that you reign it in! If someone makes life difficult for you this Summer remember our little phrase – it’s not me, it’s you. If you start feeling like someone else is reminding you that you’re insecure about the size of your butt, your relationship with your partner or how successful you are? Well, they didn’t make you feel that way – you allowed yourself to. and frankly you are being the crazy, crazy person that’s ruining someone else’s night as well as your own.
Make a new years resolution to improve what you believe to be ‘missing from your life’, so you don’t spend next Summer comparing and feeling insecure, when you should be enjoying the Holidays.
Happy New Years friends and do make it a good one. Share the love and leave the craziness for the dancefloor!